32

Today I turned 32. I've been mellow today unlike when I turned 30 or even 21 in Amsterdam, that special day is still fuzzy. I got the calls from close friends and family and spent the day reflecting on the last 32 years. Instead of going out to dinner I decided to hit the pool for 3,200 yards. What I noticed most about my life now is that I'm more committed in every aspect - work, family, friends and sport.

I used to have a bucket list of things I wanted to do before I was 30. It went something like this: hike the AT, hike the Long Trail, sky dive, hitch hike across Europe, climb El Captain, kayak a class v river, get my pilots license, work on a crab boat off the coast of Alaska, live past 25, spend a summer as a smoke jumper, move out west, run a marathon, learn how to slack line, become a NOLS instructor, learn how to play guitar, etc - you get the point. I can't seem to find that list but I certainly remember what's on it, which means I still haven't lost the drive to live a life of adventure and that's comforting on this day.

The walls closed in some with work and life pressures, but a large part of me still yearns to tick off the items on the list. To date, I've jumped out of a plane, hitched around Europe, hiked sections of the AT, paddled a class III, ran a marathon, I can play the half of two songs badly on my guitar and more, but I've had some experiences that may not be as adrenaline filled or adventurous but still leave lasting memories. Memories that are burned deep into your fibers. Memories you are immediately transported to when you hear a song...it makes you pause and reflect.

They say life is filled with moments and I couldn't agree more. Moments are easily pulled from the mental file and can be played over and over. These moments get me through training and days like today. My mental hard drive is full of them and has room for more. I'm a bit of a dreamer for sure. At work I drift and start thinking about moving out west, or cashing in and becoming a NOLS guide. Now I have a partner in crime, my fiance who drifts like I do and who knows we might just grab a sharpie and go crazy crossing stuff off our nonexisting lists.

This is what keeps me going and further proves that age is but a number. As far as commitment, I was a dabbler in my early years. I hiked, surfed, kayaked, climbed, mountain biked, and more but never truly committed. I often sold equipment and repurchased by season because I was poor and also because my interest faded. I've now found triathlon and it's relatively new passion and I'm committed, for the first time I can honestly say that. Maybe because it's more of a lifestyle, but it's more due to the fact that it requires discipline. In my 20s I hated structure and constantly sought out balance like a free wheeling hippy. Now I embrace structure and have found balance through triathlon. It's affected all parts of my life and that's weird to me. Perhaps that's why I enjoy it so much. There's competition, challenge, failure, pain, envy, enjoyment, insecurity, confidence, passion, accomplishment, and selfishness.

I've found something else in my 30s that makes me happy and gives me balance. And I'm thankful to have found a new adventure.